The Power of Seeing and Being Seen

Seeing each other in our pain helps us stand firm and walk tall in this world.

By Wendy Lew Toda

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rt can express what words cannot. This progressive work follows a chapter of my grieving process from March 29–April 11, as I mourned the loss of safety for our AAPI community amid the growing violence against us.

Reflecting that violence, I cut two slashes through a painting that said “safety.” The paper scars became arcs above the flat surface, creating a fragile shelter. More slashes were made all around, expressing feeling hemmed in by the possibility of harm. Would I be next? The paper scars piled up. Could I reach beyond the paper’s edge and touch a new understanding of safety? Pain couldn’t be the end of the story. All things can be made new, so how might this be transformed?

Next, the paper scars curved where they had once been flat, stood up instead of lying down, and became interconnected. A wholeness and joy emerged. Snipping that section free, like a raft sailing right out of the sea of grief, I imagined being tiny enough to ride in its shelter and support, all built from scars. The remaining paper became a perspectacle*, exploring the dynamic between seeing and grief.

Each time others have seen me in my pain, it gets a little lighter. The Zulu greeting “sawubona” means “I see you.” The common response is “yebo sawubona,” “I see you seeing me.” I doubt I will ever get used to living in this risky new reality. Being seen gives me strength to stand firm and walk tall in this world. Today, and every day. May it be so for us all.

Sawubona.

*Perspectacles are mixed media sculptures the size and shape of eyeglasses that explore the ways we see (or don’t see).

Media: Paper, watercolor, acrylics, pencil, commentary, tears

See the full sequence at www.wendylewtoda.com/sawubona

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Wendy Lew Toda is an artist and a coach. She creates art that sparks conversations, and conversations that launch creativity into all aspects of life. Her work is trauma-informed and intentionally opens deeper spiritual dialogue. Wendy has experienced domestic violence and found healing and wholeness on the other side. Her art and coaching create conversations that matter. Wendy holds a BFA in Fine Art specializing in Graphic Design, ACC certification with the International Coaching Federation and Transformational Coach certification with Western Seminary.