Our Anger

By Breanna Chov

Our elders are thrown to the floor,
Our families are stabbed,
Our community is ridiculed.
And again, we are met with deafening silence.

But there is no silence,
When insecurity rages in the body that wonders if her nail ladies are talking about her in foreign whispers.
There is no silence,
When inconvenience strikes you because English is not our first language.

The silent void is filled when
You “ching chong” us,
Write our unfamiliar foods off as smelly,
Emasculate our men,
Fetishize our women.

You love to wear our clothes as costumes,
And pat yourself on the back for being open to foreign foods...
As you stuff yourself with orange chicken.

Screw your “yellow fever.”
We have shared our foods,
Worked hard to be your frontline worker,
Overcome a history of trauma,
All to be here. To succeed. To belong.
To make a new home.

Yet you still blame us,
Kill us,
Hate us.

My bones scream-
At the “allies” who don’t see me.
At the communities who share our pain, yet are a part of causing it.
And at my ancestors who made us silent survivors,
Whispering to me, “don’t make waves, they’ll see us.”

With Lunar New Year coming up, I look forward to a time of celebration, but at the same time, the death of #VichaRatanapakdee and another spike of violence against Asian Americans, cause deep grief in me. These events and the tension of emotions that arise with them, reflect the complexities of our experiences as Asian Americans.

This poem was written to reflect the anger of Asian Americans, and more specifically my anger. The feeling can be more easily hidden than expressed, but however jarring our anger might be, I believe the world needs to see it. We deserve for the world to truly see us, not just as model minorities, but people who experience deep anger, sadness, joy, shame, pride. I hope this poem gives you freedom to express the fullness of the Asian American experience.

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Photo by Soragrit Wongsa on Unsplash

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Breanna Chov is a second generation Vietnamese-Chinese woman who is passionate about growing in compassion, connecting with people, and seeking good for her community. When not writing, educating, and advocating for the people and justice, she collects and perfects family recipes. Twitter: @breannachov