How to Talk to Kids about Anti-Asian Racism

By Dorina Lazo Gilmore-Young

My 8-year-old arrived home from school in tears. Lip quivering, she came to me with a heap of questions about the coronavirus.

“Is my daddy going to get coronavirus because he’s Chinese?”

I looked at her dumbfounded – my heart walking a thread-bare tight rope between sadness and anger.

“Who told you that, baby?”

“Oh, kids at school are saying all different things. One kid was running around at recess saying he had the coronavirus.”

I prayed. Oh Jesus, give me the words.

I took my blond baby-girl into my lap, and looked into her almond-shaped, dark eyes. “What are your questions?”

We worked through them one by one. I held her close.

I tried to be honest, but also reassure her with the truth of how disease spreads and how we could be cautious with washing our hands and staying out of big crowds. We talked about the most vulnerable in our circles. We took deep breaths together.

She was also confused about how the virus spreads and why people were associating it with Asian Americans like us who had never even been to China.

Frankly, the news on this pandemic and how it impacts us and our neighbors has changed daily. My kids have lots of questions. Misinformation swirls around us. As an Asian American family and as Christians, we can’t ignore the racism that is spreading across the world faster than this virus. We don’t always have answers, but it’s important to talk to my kids and navigate it together. We don’t have the privilege of keeping quiet on this one.

As moms and dads, it’s vital that we collect the facts and filter it through our spiritual lenses. That’s the best way to help our kids navigate the chaos of this world with a deeper perspective of Kingdom living and an eternal hope.

6 Ways We Can Help Our Kids Navigate Racism

1.     Identify racist comments and acts. As parents, we must open the door for communication with our kids and create a safe space for them to share. Ask kids if something they experienced or witnessed was difficult and why. Was a person singled out because of the color of their skin, the way they looked, or their cultural heritage? Take time to talk about it.

2.     Lament and comfort. We need to give ourselves permission to feel deep sorrow over this spreading racism in our country. Like David in the Bible and many of the prophets, parents can lead by crying out to God with their children against the injustices in our world. We need to make space for our children to grieve and cry if they need. Then offer them comfort.

3.     Pray and breathe. We can lead our kids by praying with them against racism. We can pray for Asian American brothers and sisters who have endured insults, abuse, and accusations during this time of COVID-19. We can pray against a spirit of fear. We can ask God to give us power, love, and sound minds as we respond and forgive those who have offended us.

4.     Educate. Although they are well-acquainted with racism, I had to teach my daughters about xenophobia, which is a fear of someone perceived to be foreign. Right now, many Asian Americans are being blamed for spreading COVID-19. Help kids understand we are all created in God’s image. Each one is precious to God and should not accept abuse from others. Whether subtle or overt, we need to call out racism and teach our kids to do the same.

5.     Love your neighbor. Now, more than ever, we have the opportunity to live out the second greatest commandment “love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:39). This may mean sharing food and toilet paper with neighbors. This might look like helping our kids stick up for their friends who are singled out because of their ethnic background. Let’s do what is counterintuitive in the face of fear. Let’s lean in emotionally. We can lead our kids to speak with words of compassion and share acts of kindness with our neighbors.

6.     Celebrate your culture. Parents can help rewrite the narrative of racism by helping kids celebrate their cultural background and ethnicity. Read books together about kids from Asian American heritage. Watch movies or shows that feature Asian American characters in a positive light. Make a meal together that showcases some of your culture’s favorite flavors. Talk together about the strengths and values of your culture.

---

Dorina Lazo Gilmore-Young is a mama to three strong girls and wife to Shawn. She is the author of Cora Cooks Pancit, a children’s book about Filipino food and culture, as well as a speaker, Bible teacher, spoken word artist, runner, and foodie. She and her family live in Central California. You can read more of her work on her website.