Being Asian American in Seminary: The Good, the Bad, and the Hopeful
By Christy Chia
"T
his feels so right! I’m exactly where I should be as a woman in seminary!” This thought ran through my mind during my first day on campus. Peace, excitement, and hope rose anew in me as I saw women lead freely and empowered. I had chosen Fuller Theological Seminary for its support of women in ministry, but it never crossed my mind that I should look for a seminary that cared about racial justice too.
I am now entering my last year of my M.Div. at Fuller Theological Seminary. In the past two years, I have seen the good, the bad, and glimpses of hope. Here is my story.
The Good
Upon starting my first quarter, I immediately connected with the Asian American Center (AAC). They have toiled to advocate for Asian Americans within both theological education and church settings, providing Asian American courses: Asian American Identity and Ministry, Asian American Theologies, Asian American Pastoral Ministry, Missional Leadership in Asian American Contexts (discontinued), and other forms of support, such as Asian American spiritual formation groups.
In my time at Fuller, I am learning what it means to be Asian American in a racialized society. I have been equipped with the language and frameworks to process my experiences and identity. I learned the value and difficulties of nuance. I am coming to recognize my privileges as well as my disadvantages. Here, I can research the topics and questions important to Asian American communities.
I have also been empowered to lead. For the past two years, I have served on leadership with our Asian American Student Fellowship (AASF), which works closely with the AAC. I also serve on the Fuller Student Council, where I can contribute to the direction of the seminary and speak truth to power. My time at Fuller has illuminated my understanding of who I am and has given me opportunities to lead as an embodied person. However, as with any community, Fuller is far from perfect.
The Bad
Although the COVID-19 pandemic revealed anti-Asian racism to many, anti-Asian racism has existed and permeates our institutions, classrooms, and theologies. In one class, Scripture was manipulated to urge me to disregard my Chinese American Christian identity and heritage; instead, I was told to assimilate to the White-normative American church. I have encountered assigned readings of research sloppily and irreverently interpreted based on false stereotypes. I have experienced unfair expectations and grading when writing on non-White topics. It is bittersweet when terms like “Black-White Binary,” “Perpetual Foreigner,” and “Orientalism,” become part of your everyday vocabulary. On the one hand, they are finally identifiable; and on the other, they can no longer be ignored.
The hardest part of my seminary experience has been the mental and emotional toll that comes with experiencing microaggressions (whose impact is anything but minor) – the inner turmoil of processing what happened and deciding how to respond, the abuse of dismissive gaslighting, and the guilt of missing the chance to speak up, which motivates me to speak up now but continues to haunt me. Every space becomes unsafe as I never know where the next offense will come from. The burden and exhaustion of constantly having to fight for myself and my community is crushing.
In the spring of 2020, COVID-19 brought a society-wide onslaught of anti-Asian racism. Though this was acknowledged in small pockets within Fuller, I was disappointed that no institutional statement denouncing anti-Asian racism was issued. Additionally, few professors addressed the rising anti-Asian racism to their classes. The school’s collective silence effectively erased Asian experience, surprising given its commitment to the pursuit of racial justice. Students of Asian descent – the second largest racial group at Fuller – wondered if anyone cared at all. Distressed students carried this weight in quiet isolation, unsure of where they could safely talk about it.
Anti-Asian racism with the rise of COVID-19 and concurrent racism in the classroom thrusted me into the world of racial justice, a topic my home communities had not prepared me to engage. I found myself scrambling up the steep learning curve of student activism. Luckily, I was not alone.
The Hopeful
Asian American and Asian community members throughout the seminary began speaking up and holding space for each other. They shared their experiences of racism both inside and outside the classroom. The AASF and AAC partnered to hold processing spaces for our students, staff, and faculty of Asian descent.
I leveraged my roles as student council representative and leader of AASF to highlight anti-Asian racism in meetings to staff, faculty, and administrators. My co-leads and I shared students’ classroom experiences of racism, acknowledging that our community members might lack the knowledge to recognize it. Our work culminated in a Fuller-wide educational Zoom meeting, hosted in conjunction with the AAC, where we presented examples of anti-Asian racism at Fuller and began an institution-wide conversation to address it. Thankfully, our justice-oriented administration, faculty, and staff have been largely reflective and supportive – even the President of the seminary gave us his full backing. Our Asian American community and allies throughout the institution cheered us on.
In February, Fuller finally released a statement denouncing anti-Asian racism. The seminary also committed to focus on AAPI issues at all levels of the institution in the new academic year, a promise which is being kept. In the aftermath of the Atlanta massacre, Fuller promptly stood with its Asian American and Asian community, condemned racism in all its forms, and offered tangible means of support. These commitments spark hope while providing a concrete base from which to keep the institution accountable.
All in all, I am grateful to be here. I am making a difference, even if just a small one, building on the work of so many advocates who have and are pursuing racial justice. The fight against racism is far from new – as it is far from done – at Fuller. Decades of students, faculty, and staff of color have survived worse, have challenged Fuller forward towards racial justice, and sacrificed much to do so. The Asian American Center, our community of color, and our allies are paving the way before us and with us. We are in it together.
How should seminaries actively care for their Asian American students?
Reflecting on my experiences and that of my peers, I believe there are some ways that seminaries can better care for Asian American students. The following ideas are a starting place; the list is not exhaustive, and how it may be applied varies by setting.
Actively care by actually caring. No amount of institutional change will be enough if the seminary and the community within it does not truly care about each other. The first step is relational. Get to know us. Value us. Empower us.
Have an institution-wide theological commitment to anti-racism. It is much more common to find individuals, groups, or centers within the seminary that care about racial justice than it is to find an entire institution dedicated to racial justice, but that is what it will take. It is also important that the framework of anti-racism not only addresses anti-blackness or sees POC as Black and Brown, but also includes the diverse and unique racial experience of people of Asian descent.
Seek to hear the experiences of your Asian American students and expect it to get worse before it gets better. What I mean by this is, once the doors to these conversations open, what is unspoken will now be revealed – experiences of racism, critiques of institutional shortcomings, and community-members who have missed the mark. Do not dismiss or deny it, nor rush through the discomfort. It is worth it. Strengthen reporting processes to collect and address student concerns, particularly for microaggressions. Advocate on behalf of students, especially the DEI officer(s) and Dean of Students.
Put your money (and your power) where your mouth is. Some examples: launch and allocate sufficient funding to Asian American centers and programs, hire Asian American faculty and staff who understand Asian American identity and history within a racialized society, and have Asian Americans at all levels of the seminary.
Offer learning opportunities that include the nuanced Asian American experience and dispel myths. Train community members to recognize and respond to anti-Asian racism. Include required readings from diverse Asian American perspectives in course syllabi. Regularly host educational and interdisciplinary lectures and conversations.
Be proactive. Do not wait for student activists to hold the institution accountable. Student activism is an imposed burden, which some choose to take on, but is not their job. We should not have to organize, create a movement, and/or protest before being heard. Ask your Asian American community what is needed and fulfill it.
For more articles in this series:
“An Asian American Seminarians Journey Homeward” by Derek Wu.
“The State of Asian American Theology in Seminary: Thoughts from an Outgoing Graduate” by Justin Nitta.
“The Need for Asian American Theological Scholarship” by Chiwon Kim.
Christy Chia is a butcher-turned seminarian (long story) from San Francisco who is wrapping up her M.Div. at Fuller Seminary. She is passionate about creating safe spaces for empowering women and people of color in the church. Christy is currently serving on the Fuller Student Council and with Fuller’s Asian American Student Fellowship. She loves to recharge by playing with dogs, working with her hands, and treating herself to a weekly meal of poke and boba.
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